Please Don't Go
by Shadow Katt
Summary: How will Hermione come to terms with Snape's death? Will she suffer from depression or just begin to imagine what her life with him would be like? Angst. HG/SS


Hermione Granger dodged the flashing lights of spells as she ran across the grounds of Hogwarts. A flash of green light burst on a tree she was near and the curses of Death Eaters flooded her ears. She didn't care. She had something to do. She had to do it. She knew she could and she would. The curses and spells that trailed her across the grounds didn't faze her. Hermione was on a mission. She ducked into the edge of the Forbidden Forest and the sounds of the Death Eaters began to fade away. She didn't stop running. She ran through the dark forest, the moon giving no light. Hermione snaked her way through the tall tree trunks, each one of them just another obstacle attempting to stop her from reaching her destination. It wasn't too late. It couldn't be too late. Why did she leave him after he gave the vial to Harry? She looked right at him, she looked at his failing body and she did nothing. Maybe she thought it was too late. Maybe the realization hadn't quite hit her. Now she was going back and she knew she could fix it.

Suddenly a dark figure appeared in front of her. His face was hooded and she couldn't see him.

"Hello you filthy mudblood," a sinister voice crooned. Hermione recognized the voice of the werewolf, Fenrir Greybeck. She didn't care. Without missing a step she pointed her wand at him.

"_Crucio!_" Hermione roared and meant every syllable. The death eater doubled over wailing in agony. Hermione ran right past him, never breaking her stride. '_Don't let it be too late….,_' she thought in her head. Finally up ahead she saw the stone winged boars that flanked the gate to the school. Just a little further and she could apparate there...

Behind her somewhere something made a deafening roar that sounded like an explosion and Hermione instinctively covered her head, but kept running. She could feel the ground tremble below her and her legs felt like gelatin, but if she stopped she would miss her chance, _their chance_. She passed the gate in a steady run and as soon as she could she thought of the Shrieking Shack and the man who lay there dying. A second later she was there and she squinted in the dark seeing the crumpled body on the floor. She whispered a charm and the old candles that littered the shack illuminated the space.

Her Potions Master lay on the dirty planked floor. His right hand was weakly covering his neck. His intricate robes that had once looked so intimidating to Hermione were deep stained crimson. The blood pooled around him on the floor of the shack and his breathing was short and raspy.

"Professor," Hermione said, feeling her body go numb with shock.

Severus Snape gathered the energy to let his eyes flutter open and they rested on Hermione. He closed his eyes once again and attempted to speak, all that came from his mouth were desperate and strained noises.

Hermione fell to her knees by his side, feeling his still warm blood saturate her jeans. "Professor I need to see," she said reaching for his right hand so she could see the wound. She held his hand tight and moved it away. It was hard to see what was wrong since there was so much blood but she did manage to see two large circular wounds from the snake bite encircled by black venom. Hermione started to panic. She thought she could do this. She thought she could save him but she didn't know where to 

start. She was just seventeen with just six years of school behind her. Her eyes welled up with tears and she squeezed his hand tightly. "Tell me how to save you," she pleaded. His eyes fluttered open again and what looked like a smile played on his mouth.

"I can't be saved, Miss Granger," Snape's voice came to her. She looked at his pale face, confused, knowing he hadn't spoke. She realized then that he was using his gift of occlumency to speak to her. The tears started pouring down her cheeks now.

"There must be a way,' she sobbed.

"It's impossible, Nagini is no normal serpent and she has given me no normal wound," he said to her.

"I can apparate you to a healer," she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Let me go," Snape said quietly. He was the same person she had seen so often for the past seven years, yet he was a bit softer and frailer. His voice, though projected straight into her mind was just as silky. It was the same voice that had coached her potions class for six years. "Why are you wasting your time with me? Your friends need you."

"My friends don't need my help, you do," she offered.

"I can't be saved," Severus Snape said as his eyes were intently fixed on her. "Why did you come back for me?"

That was an interesting question. Why did she go back for him when Harry or anyone could need her? The tears rained down her cheeks as the realization came to her. "Because I love you," she cried, clutching his hand tighter and lifting it up to her face. His entire hand was covered in blood and he opened his palm, the red fingertips grazing her cheek, leaving dark smears on her fair skin.

The revelation that Hermione loved him didn't seem like a surprise. His dark eyes were soft as they gazed into hers. "I don't deserve your tears," Snape said, fixated on his own self loathing.

"Severus," she wept, noticing his first name sounded foreign to her. "I can't let you go," she said, kissing his blood drenched hand. "You've never been afraid to challenge me. You're the only one who made me believe I could do better when I already felt like I was doing my best. You make me grow and I don't believe anyone else can do that to me," Hermione said. "Isn't that what love is? Finding someone to make you achieve higher goals? Finding someone who believes in you?"

"I've always believed in you," Snape said. "Since the first day you walked happily into my classroom I believed in you. I saw such potential. I saw such a beautiful mind."

Hermione slid down from her knees to lie next to Snape on the floor. She lay on her stomach and the scarlet liquid covering the floor seeped into her shirt. She propped herself up on her elbows and used both hands to clutch Snape's. "I've always believed in you too," Hermione said, letting the tears rain from her face. "I always knew you were good and kind, I always knew you weren't a killer. When Harry told me I couldn't believe it. I've always believed in you and I knew that Professor Snape, _my_ Professor 

Snape would never have killed Dumbledore in cold blood. I've always defended you and I know now it's because I love you. I love you, Professor."

What Hermione said seemed to give him a bit of strength and he squeezed her hand back. "You always reminded me of her. You're so like her, a Muggleborn and brilliant and just as kind as you are beautiful. You're just like Lily. I protected Harry for her for so long. Do you think shell forgive me?"

"Yes Severus I do," Hermione said through sobs.

"I wish I didn't have to go," Snape said weakly. "I just wanted... a life."

Hermione buried her face in his chest. "Professor, I can save you just tell me how," she begged.

"There is no way. Just tell me once more," Severus said as he began to gulp air.

"I love you Severus Snape," Hermione cried.

Hermione felt his chest stop moving. She pressed her ear to his heart and heard silence. "Please don't go," she sobbed. "Please come back to me…." She could feel the color leave her face and her head suddenly felt very heavy. It felt as if her heart was made of lead and it just hung there in her chest, refusing to let her move. Her eyes shut and she couldn't see or feel anything but the temperature leaving her former teacher's body.

Hermione felt her body lurch as if she was falling and struggled to open her eyes. She was standing back at Hogwarts celebrating the defeat of Voldemort and the crowd around her seemed to be cheering for Harry and Neville. She looked around and saw Professor Snape nearby. His neck was bandaged and he looked a bit pale but he was smiling a thin smile at her. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his middle since he was so much taller than her.

"I thought you were gone," she said, not believing her eyes.

Snape said nothing but wrapped his strong arms around her.

Hermione blinked and a second later she felt older. She wore long robes as she walked around Hogwarts but she knew she was older then everyone else there. She recognized her path as the one that would lead her to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She walked in and saw a classroom full of eager second or third years, their eyes all intently on Professor Snape. Hermione couldn't hear what he was saying but he seemed to be delivering a lecture. She knew she must have been his intern and watched him teach. She watched him teach with love and kindness to the children. He was very animated as he spoke to them and smiled at them all.

"He's my favorite teacher," a small Hufflepuff girl whispered.

Hermione looked at Professor Snape and he looked back at her and smiled, his dark eyes glittering with pride. Hermione blinked again and a second later she felt overjoyed. She looked around and saw everyone she knew, beaming at her. To her left was Ginny Weasley who wore a lavender colored dress. 

The smell of flowers overwhelmed her and she looked to her right, Snape stood by her side in a very expensive dress robe. He too looked overjoyed and Hermione finally looked down and saw she was in a wedding gown. Was this their wedding day?

When she opened her eyes again she had to squint from the sunlight streaming in through the windows of the old shack. Snape's body below her head was now ice cold and hard. The warmth and softness she had just been dreaming of were gone forever.

"He's upstairs," a familiar voice said from somewhere below her.

"It was the snake that did it?" asked another voice also familiar to Hermione's ears.

Harry and Professor McGonagall were here to claim Snape's lifeless body. She knew that the two people who were about to come into that room would want some kind of explanation. She didn't have one nor did she care. Her chest felt empty and heavy at the same time. Her throat felt tight and she felt like all her energy had passed onto the next plane of existence with Professor Severus Snape. She looked down and saw that she was absolutely covered in his blood. It was on her face and hands and clothing. She could even feel it sticking to her hair.

The door finally opened and as Hermione guessed Harry and Professor McGonagall walked in, with Ron in tow.

"Hermione?" Harry asked in disbelief. He looked exhausted but relieved. Hermione guessed that Voldemort was gone for good. None of that mattered to her. All that mattered was that Snape was gone and he wasn't coming back. "We couldn't find you we thought you were….," he trailed off.

"Hermione are you all right?" asked Ron who looked bewildered by the blood covering her.

"I thought I could save him," she could feel the tears starting to fall down her cheeks once again.

"Come here child," McGonagall said as she stepped over to help Hermione up. Her eyes fell upon the slain man and a tear rolled down her cheek as well.

"No," Hermione refused to stand up. Her hand was still holding the cold and lifeless hand she grasped all night. "I can't let go. Professor McGonagall we have to save him."

"Hermione you must let go, he's gone," said the older witch, her voice full of concern.

"Hermione, let him go," Ron said rather like a command.

"I can't. I should have told him sooner. I can't let go. I don't want to let go," she sobbed as she covered his still body with her own protectively.

Two days later the lawn behind the castle was littered with students and adult witches and wizards alike. They all faced the same thing, a dark marble tomb that now stood next to Dumbledore's. There was an inscription carved into the polished marble that read:

**Severus Prince Snape**

**1960 – 1998**

**Noble Headmaster**

**1997 – 1998**

**Beloved Teacher**

**Loyal Friend**

Hermione sat in the front, her head down yet her eyes fixed on the tomb. Ron and Harry flanked her and she could feel Ron's hand rub her back in comfort. It repulsed her. She felt dead and empty. She felt like there was no energy or life left in her and she turned into a walking corpse. Her face felt pale and sallow, and her hands sat limply on her lap.

"Severus Snape was more than just a teacher; he was a loyal companion, the works that he did…." Kingsley Shacklebolt's eulogy echoed across the grounds.

Hermione couldn't focus on what he was saying, each time she tried her mind would just tune it out. She wasn't sure how to feel, but she was sure the way she felt was like death. Had she been in love with Professor Snape all this time? No she didn't think so. She remembered thinking about how ingenious he was last year when Harry told her it was Snape who was the mysterious author behind the Potions textbook, it was also when he told her Snape had just murdered Dumbledore. It never quite fit.

"It is my highest honor that Severus Snape is awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class," Shacklebolt said proudly. Hermione felt a swell of pride for Snape and hoped everyone else did too. She tuned out the eulogy once again and thought of the memories or vision she had when Snape had left her. She thought of how he was a happy teacher, favored by the students. She closed her eyes and thought of her wedding day. The smell of the gardenias flooded her senses and flashing lights went off in front of her as everyone took pictures. She could feel Snape's large warm hand take hold of her own.

"This is all I ever wanted," he said with a smile.

Hermione leaned against him, feeling the heat from his body pass through her. This truly was the happiest day of her life.

"Hermione," Ron's impatient tone nagged her out of her thoughts. "You spaced out."

"I'm fine," she said curtly as she got up. Snape's funeral was over, that was the final page. She took her place in the line of people dropping flowers on his tomb.

_I wish I didn't have to go_, his voice still echoed in her head.

She stepped up to the tomb after McGonagall had dropped a handful of white roses on top. The marble was indeed beautiful and the epitaph carved on the front was immaculate. On top of the tomb was an engraved image of a phoenix.

Hermione began to wonder if phoenix tears could have healed him. She dropped seven blood red roses on top of the tomb and let her hands rest on the cool marble. The cold feeling instantly reminded her of how cold his body was when she woke up in the Shrieking Shack days earlier and retracted them at once.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice shaking. Hermione stepped away from the tomb and followed McGonagall out of the way.

"Greasy git," Ron's words were sharp behind her as he and Harry stepped up to the tomb themselves. "Remember how much he humiliated us in potions all those years ago? He was an awful teacher. Look at that, someone had '_Beloved Teacher_' put there."

Hermione glared at Ron in disbelief.

"Who in their right mind would consider Snape _beloved_?" Ron joked and a thin smile crossed Harry's mouth.

"I did!" Hermione yelled, stirring looks from those nearby. "Severus Snape was the greatest teacher we had Ron. He protected us for seven years. He encouraged us to do better. He gave his life for The Order."

Ron just looked at Hermione quietly before she stormed off.

I'll be adding another chapter soon. Yes I'm back and writing again. Please review and tell me how you like this. Thanks.


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